Monday, 23 January 2012

Shut Up And Drive

Ugh, I'm not even going to talk about my eating. I'm putting every thing I worked so hard for to lose back on :( And no matter how much I feel guilty, no matter how many blogs, how much thinspo I look at, I just wont stop eating. It's killing me.

I usually pull myself out of this out of no where, something in my mind will just snap and all of a sudden I'm back to 100-150 calories a day. Really hope that'll be soon. But anyway all I can think about at the moment is getting a job and a car. My plan for driving lessons are sorted, as soon as I turn 18 (less than 5 months eeee!) I'm using the money my nan left me when she died and then some, on the lessons and the test, and I'm hoping to of course pass and by that time be in a job earning at least £500 a month in a 5-6 day a week job, where I'll be saving for a car and insurance, and have both by the end of the year?!. It's a shame I can plan out my future involving money and driving but not even make a single days plan on losing weight. GAH.

But the crazy pills (as I like to call them) are keeping me positive, I have my down days - a little today, but the fact that I can plan things for this year, be searching for a job, and actually keep my chin up? It's proof that I'm doing sooooo much better since my meltdown in October :)

Emma - Aww thank you so much! I wish I felt like it's gorgeous too! The more I look at the photo the more I dislike it :S And I have no doubt that you must be beautiful how you are anyway! :) x

"I'm a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine, with a sunroof top and a gangster lean."

Posted at 17:08

1 comment:

  1. That happens to me sometimes; I fall in a depressing "I don't care" hole and then out of no where I spring back with a punch and usually lose 3-4 pounds, lol. This hasn't happened recently, I've been in more of a middle -which sucks. I'm trying to force myself to spring back. Let's see how it goes :)