Monday, 30 January 2012

The Anthem

Today has been my first good day with my eating in so long :) *snap* ... here that? ;) Anyway it's made me in a good mood. It's bad though that I told myself I wouldn't blog until I could be proud of my eating, so I've been too ashamed for too long. But I'm okay now ^-^ Sorry to have been letting you down!

I've been loading up the things in my mind I want to talk about, most of it's totally pointless, but like I've mentioned before, I feel like this is a kind of journal, and I like to talk about whatever pops into my head, or whatever I list haha :) But I'll save some for my next post, I see this one dragging as it is. One of these is that - to refer to my darling Rihanna - I've gone all 'Rated R' with my style, when her look went from good, cute girl, to grown up, dark, sexy, somewhat shocking, and unique :) So similar to this I've decided to ditch wearing the cute stuff, and be...well, not so much shocking, but unique, yeah unique :) I've never managed to find a balance with my style, I was either super emo, looked like a boy, slutty looking, or cutesy girly girl so I'm finding the balance and my look now, what I'm going for is not so much looking gothic, I'm way over that, but more adventurous, fun, but with enough girlyness to not look like a boy OR a 5 year old girl, and look sexy without looking slutty. It wont be easy, but it'll be a challenge at least, haha!

Another reason for my not blogging in a while is that I've gotten myself wrapped up in something else on the computer. A dating simulation game. Yep, I realise that I'm going to be 18 this year, a certified adult, and I realise how insanely lame it is to enjoy such soppy games at my age, but what can I say, you like what you like right? :) The game I've become addicted to is an anime-style drawn, Japanese game called 'Katawa Shoujo'. I have absolutely no idea what the name means, but the game has a twist, it's not your typical boy meets handful of girls in a school, picks and falls in love, it's about a boy with a heart condition, who transfers in his last year to a high school specially for disabled teenagers, where he meets 5 disabled girls (this sounds kind of sick or twisted, but it's not how it sounds, it's actually a really heart touching and sweet game) There's something about it that I find incredible, and is making me begin to have a real interest in disabled people, how they deal with it, how it effects their lives, it's pretty amazing :) Another thing I like about it is the fact that the characters are pretty much my age, and the fairly awkward 'first time' style or occasionally romantic - although slightly more physically graphic than I first thought sex scenes make me feel less childish playing a dating sim haha :)

I'd love to make my own dating simulation game, in fact I'm practically already starting the character designs on Macromedia Flash for what I imagine the characters to be like :) Considering I love being creative I see it as a good use of my time :) Of course if I ever finished it I'd never share it though - the reasons being that I'd be too embarrased, it'd probably be terribly made, and come to think of it I don't even know how to make it into a functioning online thing, I only know how to put it together and make it work on flash.

BUT ANYWAY, all I've done is ramble about my style and bloody game! Why do I choose to bore you poor people. Hope your lives are more interesting than mine, and that I've not taken away too much time that you'll never get back by you reading this ;) Love you guys!

From left to right...Lilly: blind, Hanako: burn victim and severe social issues, Rin: no arms, Shizune: deaf & Emi: no legs. Emi is my favourite so far :) But I also love Hanako. WHY AM I SO LAME?!

Emma - Yeah it's probably the same for all people who struggle with eating :/ But you do so well I'm so proud of you! ^-^ Thanks for the support :) x

"Do you ever wanna' be like them? Do you really wanna' be another trend? Do you wanna' be part of the crowd? 'Cause I don't ever wanna', I don't ever wanna' be you, don't wanna' be just like you."

Posted at 22:55

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