The feeling. God I've missed this. Light headed, weak, shaky, I'm in a weirdly high mood from not eating all day. Finally! I was so depressed last night and today that I secretly skipped school and haven't eaten a thing, I even dumped my dinner in the bin for the first time in a while.
When I feel like this, like I've just had a toke on a spliff, I remember what kept me from eating, I adore this feeling and of course as well as the thought of it adding up to some day feeling thin, it's ten times better than food will ever be.
One day I'm going to be tiny. I want to be so light that the weakest of people can lift me. So fragile that everyone's afraid they'll break me. So narrow that they could practically pass through me. So proud that I could scream with happiness. I want to be so painfully and shockingly thin that when anyone see's me they gasp and stare, and whisper 'she looks nearly dead'.
"Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could. Steady feet don't fail me now."
Posted at 22:17